Why friendship and money don’t mix

Being torn in between being there for your friends and not having to cross your own boundaries can be challenging. 

Austin Ndegwa spoke to Wananchi Reporting about how lending money to your friends can break a friendship:

I had a close friend whom I spent most of my time with, shared money making tips, happy and sad times with. 

Our financial capacity was fair but since we were still students and weren't working, we  had our fair share of times when we were broke and couldn't afford some basic needs. 

Our part time income was forex trading was sometimes not so good, and we would get losses. 

One time, my friend asked me to give him money to sort out his rent and other problems that he did not share about. 

The semester was fresh and my father had given me school fees.

He lured me into lending him half of the amount  and promised to return it as soon as possible before the payment oortal was closed. After a while I noticed that he was becoming a little distant and our communication wasn't like before, but I assumed that life was getting tougher on his side. 

Time went by and the exams were soon approaching, I had to clear my school fees to access an exam card.

Whenever I asked him about it, he would shy away and I noticed that he began to avoid me and even blocked me on social media. 

I was nervous because I didn't know how I'd get money to pay my fees.

I knew that I'd definitely catch up with him since we were in the same class. 

I decided to tell one of my close relatives about it and she helped me clear my fees, but I was angry and said I would never help anyone in a financial crisis.

He kept playing hide and seek with me but I chose to let fate decide what would happen to him. 

After this encounter, no matter how close we are, I am not comfortable with lending money and if I do, it has to be an amount that I am comfortable losing. 

Some people might think that you're the bad friend for not lending them money, but If I understand that you don't have any money, I will lend you money without considering it as a debt. 

Most people avoid talking about finances as friends but there are many instances where one might feel like they are giving too much and that's when they begin to cut other people off. 

It's a good thing to help your friends out financially but both parties have to know and understand each other.

In instances of lumpsum money, it can be done in a way that has legal backing.

I haven't talked to my friend for a while but I choose to assume that maybe he is going through something personal and maybe he will reach out one day.