Loss, grief, forgiveness: My journey after losing my daughter in Moi Girls school fire

“Even in the ashes of unimaginable loss, love remains; unburned, unbroken, and forever carrying the light of the one we hold in our hearts." 

There are moments in life that divide time into two distinct chapters: before and after. For me, September 2, 2017, is one such moment.

It was the morning when news broke that a fire had engulfed a dormitory at Moi Girls School in Nairobi, claiming the lives of seven students. 

Like many parents across the country, I watched the unfolding reports with shock and concern. 

Yet, amid the uncertainty, I held onto hope, the fragile hope that somehow my family would be spared from the tragedy.

That hope did not last.

My daughter, Hannah Jeyisso, who had just joined Form One at the school, was among those who perished in the fire. 

In an instant, the dreams I had nurtured for her future were extinguished. The promise of watching her grow into adulthood, pursue her ambitions and carve out her place in the world was suddenly and cruelly taken away.

The loss of a child is unlike any other grief. It is a wound that does not heal with time but becomes a permanent part of one’s existence. 

Years may pass, but the absence remains. It lingers in the silence of familiar spaces, in treasured photographs and in memories that bring comfort and pain in equal measure.

In the months that followed, I wrestled with questions that had no easy answers. Why did this happen? Could it have been prevented? Why was my daughter among the victims? 

These questions haunted my days and robbed me sleep at night. Like many grieving parents, I searched for the meaning in a tragedy that seemed utterly senseless.

The anguish deepened when investigations revealed that the fire had been deliberately set. What had initially appeared to be a terrible accident was, in fact, an act of human choice. 

My grief soon gave way to anger. I found myself consumed by thoughts of those whose actions, or failures to act, I believed had contributed to the tragedy. 

I questioned the conduct of the perpetrator and wondered whether more could have been done to protect innocent lives.

Anger is a natural companion of grief, but it is also a heavy burden to carry. For a long time, I allowed it to occupy my thoughts and shape my emotions. 

Yet, as years passed, I came to realise that while anger may be justified, it cannot heal a broken heart. No amount of bitterness could bring my daughter back, nor could it restore the future that had been stolen from her.

That realization marked the beginning of my journey towards forgiveness.

Forgiveness is often misunderstood. It is not the denial of wrongdoing nor is it the abandonment of justice, it does not erase pain or diminish accountability. 

Rather, forgiveness is the conscious decision not to allow hatred to define one’s life. It is choosing peace over resentment and refusing to surrender one’s future to the mistakes of others.

For me, that journey was neither quick nor easy. It required prayer, reflection, patience and the unwavering support of family. 

Above all, it required grace. I found strength in the words of Scripture: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘it is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).

By God’s grace, I forgave.

While the pain of losing Hannah remains, forgiveness has allowed me to find a measure of peace. It has enabled me to honour her memory not through bitterness, but through purpose. 

Her life continues to inspire me to advocate for safer schools and to encourage conversations about responsibility, empathy and the sanctity of life.

The tragedy at Moi Girls School which led to the loss of ten innocent lives, seven instantly and three who succumbed to injuries caused by the fire, taught me that protecting children is a collective effort. 

Parents must nurture strong values at home and maintain open communication with their children. Schools must prioritise safety and invest in systems that protect students from preventable harm. 

Government agencies must ensure that institutions comply with safety regulations and provide adequate resources for student welfare and mental health support.

Every child deserves the opportunity to learn in a safe environment. Every parent deserves the assurance that when they entrust their child to a school, that child will return home safely.

Today, as families affected by the tragic fire at Utumishi Girls Academy grapple with unimaginable loss, my thoughts and prayers are with them. I know, all too well, the pain that accompanies such tragedy. 

Though words can never erase grief, I hope they find strength in the love and support of those around them and comfort in the knowledge that they do not walk this difficult path alone.

Loss changes us, Grief humbles us, but forgiveness, however difficult, can help us find light even in our darkest moments. 

It is through that light that I choose to remember my daughter, not for the manner in which she died, but for the love, joy and hope she brought into my life.

The writer is a mother to the late Hannah Jeyisso, who was among the fatalities in the 2017 Moi Girls School fire.