Tom Bwana: Nyamweya; savior of Kenyan football

The Football Kenya Federation elections, insufferably dull for weeks, is likely to explode with the shameful but expected loss we suffered away at the hands of Cape Verde; some little island on the Atlantic Ocean.

Suddenly everyone is an expert on how to fix our football and we can see that by how loud aspirants for FKF’s top seat are shouting on rooftops against Sam Nyamweya, the chubby cat whom every shabby rat now wants to bell. What have they done to improve Kenya’s football at their past or present positions other than to screech at the slightest slip-up from the ever industrious Nyamweya? These gluttonous, squealing little traitors with the balls to criticize Harambee Stars even on a day we are playing a tiny country like Cape Verde should not be allowed anywhere near national football management.

Look here, Sam Nyamweya has put in so much effort to improve our football that nobody can ever come close to imagining where we would be without his assiduous contribution.

Of course we all know that it was under Uncle Sam that we were, as a country, smothered in glory in successfully hosting the 2013 CECAFA tournament. Did I say we won it? Forget those measly complaints that some teams were locked in hotels. Greatness is determined by how you turn around issues, not how they are created. Weren’t they sorted out somehow? Yes they were! Sudan may complain till cows come home how we only released them from their hotel few hours to kickoff of the Finale but fact is we beat them a cool 2-0 to win CECAFA.

But who really are Uncle Sam’s opponents, by the way?

Ambrose Rachier? Club and federation are worlds apart.

Nick Mwendwa? That soprano-sounding small boy? Ha!

Gor Semelang’o? Can he even spell football without the analphabetic temptation of inserting a double ‘b’ instead of a double ‘o’?

Hussein Mohammed? Is he even running, by the way? No idea.

Tom Alila? Ha! Elections are not won by jumping onto every slight invitation to speak handicapped Swahili on Radio Jambo.

Sammy Sholei? Gives ex-footballers a bad name by his incessant press conferences that hardly bear fruit.

Under Nyamweya’s diligent leadership, we have instilled discipline and responsibility in management by habitually banning dissidents to our course. You see, discipline and regard to order is a paramount daily dose and recipe to success without which not much can be achieved. But due to Uncle Sam’s merciful heart, the same officials that had earlier on been banned have been pardoned. Gracious!

Absurdly, the  same people Uncle Sam pardoned are in the forefront dancing in sisal skirts blackmailing our great federation. Without the lenient heart that the good Lord bestowed on Uncle Sam, would the Sammy Sholeis of this world be talking football now? Not a chance.

Some people are associated with success. Like instant coffee, they impact immediately! When Sam Nyamweya started cleaning Kenyan football in 2011 immediately Victor Wanyama, Kenya’s current barometer for football greatness, got signed by Scotland’s Celtic FC. See? I know detractors will want to wish this fact away but when history of Kenya’s football is finally written it will be said that Wanyama signed for Celtic and eventually Southampton when Nyamweya was FKF President. The buck has to stop somewhere!

Do not let your politically blurred heart swat away fact that it was under Nyamweya that Gor Mahia managed to beat Tanzania’s Yanga and reach the finals of 2015 CECAFA Club Championship. Well, he failed to raise air tickets for the team to Dar es Salaam but that should not be used to discredit the federation. What did you want him to do yet there was no money? Governments go broke, you know? Fact is, k’Ogalo mounted a splendid show carrying the federation’s crest.

Forget FIFA ranking for a moment. I know we’ve performed dismally here. But do those rankings really count. What position are we by the way? No idea. As a nation we have managed to hire a gentle British coach and pay him handsomely; Ksh.2.5M a month! Even an expatriate coach in Burundi (now that Burundi is our reference point on everything) does not earn even half of that. What the good old Bobby does with the money when most of the time he doesn’t work is a non-issue. Even when he works we still lose anyway.

Listen, Uncle Sam enjoys support from football fans across the nation. Despite all the trouble you may want to fuel, fans still turn up in dozens for Harambee Stars matches and pay crazily for such matches; a sure endorsement of the great work our national federation is doing.

The backing from the government too is incredible. You keep talking ill of Lord Nyamweya on the streets but according to authorities, Uncle Sam is doing well and merely facing some little challenge that is normal in any public position. Where on earth have you seen someone present himself to cops for questioning? Where? And you all go poking your noses with malicious headlines that Uncle Sam was arrested? Get a life!

Until you audaciously exhibit what you have done in your capacity as a noisemaker please allow Uncle Sam a second, which he’s said will be his last, term to fix the anomalies he’s seen in our football. Ha!

Our football is growing!

@TomBwana