How to understand what is your love language

How to understand what is your love language

A stock image of lovers.

In a world where life sometimes may seem so bleak, love lights the way and gives us a reason to find colour in life. Love is an important factor in both romantic and platonic relationships and sometimes learning to navigate it may prove cumbersome.

Love languages, however, have given hope to many couples and friendships to manoeuvre this hurdle. They are ways in which different individuals yearn to be loved.

The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifting, and physical touch in no particular order.

More often than not love languages usually manifest in the things one lacked as a child. For instance, if one's parents always told them words to affirm them but did not have quality time with them, they most likely lean into quality time.

“I grew up in an environment where gift giving was very prevalent, my mum would gift us almost every day so gift giving was a normal thing to me but I lacked a lot of re-assurance words that build you and bring you life,” said Robertta Bobbie a guest at Day Break on Citizen TV.

She added, “Growing up I would always find myself seeking validation. I was always waiting for someone to tell me you're beautiful, you’re pretty, you look nice. The thing is that’s how you notice its easier for you to notice your love languages.”

Sometimes different love languages will pave the way for another one If I want quality time acts of service I relieve the burden from you so that you actually have the time. Study the person to see what they like. Look at what they like, look at what they appreciate. If you stick around them long enough you will hear the things they want to do,” said Life Coach CJAtemo.

Atemo stated that for men, love all boils down to respect, “For me, I would say quality time and it’s because you have respected me enough to be present, which I also like.”

He further reiterated that sometimes love languages may be based on what someone is going through at that particular time.

“If somebody is going through a difficult time probably love would mean love to them. If someone is feeling overwhelmed at that time acts of service would probably be instrumental to them.”

Typically people tend to unintentionally love others based on how they want to be loved or receive love. In the case of love languages, people tend to express different love languages to another person based on what they want to receive.

“It’s very important for you to know yourself for you to communicate your love languages effectively. It’s about me knowing what exactly I want me knowing how I like to be loved,” said Bobbie.

At times when people are not being loved in the way they want or need they tend to have outbursts or get agitated. This is where communication comes into play.

 It is important to effectively communicate to your partner what you like or don’t like. It is also important to appreciate them when they get it right.

 At the end of the day for love languages to work they have to be followed with intention. What do you want the other person to feel,” When you’re thinking I like gifts think are you a gifter, most times we project what we are,” said Bobbie.


Citizen Digitial Love langauges Robertta Bobbie Day break

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