From letters to likes: How social media is reshaping modern relationships

Social media platforms such as Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), TikTok, Instagram and WhatsApp have transformed the way people connect with one another. They make it easier to express ourselves, stay in touch, and build relationships across distances. In the process, they have also changed how relationships grow, evolve and, sometimes, come to an end.

Before the rise of social media and smartphones, people relied on face-to-face conversations, letters, landline telephones and personal visits to stay connected. Friends and family spent more time together in person, sharing experiences and building deeper emotional bonds. Children played outdoors in schools and neighbourhoods, interacting directly with one another.

Families gathered around the dinner table for conversations without the distraction of digital devices. Maintaining long-distance relationships required more effort because communication was slower and less frequent. As a result, personal interactions were often valued more deeply.

Although communication was not as fast as it is today, relationships were generally built on direct contact, active listening and meaningful conversations.

For young people, social media has made it easier than ever to stay connected with friends and family regardless of distance. Messages, photos and videos can be shared instantly, allowing people to maintain relationships even when they are miles apart. A simple “good morning” text can quickly turn into responding to a story, liking a post or sharing a funny video.

Daniel Nzaku, a 22-year-old university student, says social media helps him stay connected with his girlfriend, especially when they are apart. “Some days, we spend hours texting, but when we finally meet, we realise we don't have much to talk about because we have already shared everything online,” he says.

His experience reflects a growing reality among many young people whose relationships now exist both on screens and in person.

In her book ‘Reclaiming Conversation’, psychologist Sherry Turkle argues that technology is changing the nature of human interaction. “We expect more from technology and less from each other,” she writes, warning that an increasingly digital life can make relationships feel shallow and less meaningful.

For some young people, social media also creates unrealistic expectations.

“At one point, I thought my relationship was failing because it didn't look like what I saw online. But then I realised people only post their best moments. Nobody posts the arguments, disappointments or difficulties,” says Lydia Wangamwa, 24.

Lydia believes that social media should support relationships rather than control them.

Parents, meanwhile, often struggle to monitor their children's online activities due to generational differences, privacy concerns and the rapidly changing digital landscape. These challenges can sometimes lead to misunderstandings within families.

Despite these concerns, many young people are learning to develop healthier habits online and strike a balance between their digital and real-world relationships.

Ultimately, trust, honesty, patience and meaningful conversations remain just as important today as they were before the internet existed. Social media is only a tool. What truly matters is the strength of the relationship behind the screen.