Wananchi Opinion: Appear poorer than you are in the eyes of relatives

Family relationships are often built on love, trust, and shared experiences.

However, financial matters can complicate these relationships, especially in societies where family members rely on each other for financial support.

In many cultures, relatives tend to have high expectations of financially successful family members, leading to undue pressure, exploitation, or even resentment.

As a result, some people choose to downplay their wealth, appearing poorer than they actually are for various reasons.

Avoiding financial exploitation. One of the main reasons to hide one's true financial status from relatives is to avoid being exploited.

In many families, wealthier members are often seen as a source of financial rescue, leading to frequent requests for money, loans, or favours.

If relatives perceive someone as financially successful, they might feel entitled to a share of their wealth, regardless of whether the person is in a position to help.

Some relatives may even fabricate financial struggles to take advantage of a family member’s generosity.

Others might repeatedly borrow money without any intention of repaying it.

By appearing less wealthy, one can minimise such requests and avoid being placed in uncomfortable situations where refusing to help could strain family relationships.

Reducing unnecessary expectations and pressure. Success often comes with expectations, and in a family setting, these expectations can be overwhelming.

Relatives may expect a wealthy family member to take care of extended family expenses, contribute to community projects, or even fund luxurious events such as weddings and funerals.

The pressure to meet these expectations can be emotionally and financially draining.

Appearing financially modest allows an individual to set realistic boundaries. If relatives believe that one is struggling just like them, they are less likely to make unreasonable demands.

This reduces stress and allows the person to focus on their personal goals without feeling obligated to please everyone.

Preventing jealousy and resentment. Money has the power to create divisions within families.

When one relative is significantly wealthier than others, it can lead to jealousy, gossip, and resentment.

Some family members may begin to treat the wealthy person differently, either with excessive admiration or hidden envy.

This can result in strained relationships, with some relatives feeling inferior or believing that the wealthy family member looks down on them.

In extreme cases, jealousy can lead to sabotage, where envious relatives spread false rumors, undermine a person’s success, or even engage in harmful actions out of spite.

By appearing less wealthy, one can maintain healthier family dynamics and prevent unnecessary tensions.

Protecting personal financial growth. Financial stability requires careful planning, saving, and investing.

If a person constantly spends money to support relatives or meet their expectations, they might struggle to build long-term wealth.

Many successful individuals have found themselves financially drained due to the endless demands of family members.

Appearing poorer than one truly is allows a person to protect their assets and focus on personal financial growth. It enables them to invest wisely, secure their future, and support their immediate family without unnecessary interference.

Financial independence is crucial, and avoiding external pressures ensures that one remains in control of their financial decisions.

Encouraging self-reliance among relatives. If a wealthy family member continuously provides financial support, some relatives may become dependent rather than seeking their own solutions.

This dependency discourages hard work and self-reliance, creating a cycle where family members always expect financial aid instead of improving their own circumstances.

By not flaunting wealth, one encourages relatives to be independent and resourceful.

They are more likely to find ways to solve their problems instead of relying on a single family member for assistance.

This benefits not only the wealthy individual but also the family as a whole by fostering a culture of self-sufficiency.

Maintaining personal privacy. Wealth often attracts attention, not only from relatives but also from the wider community.

Some people may start prying into one’s personal life, wanting to know how much they earn, what assets they own, or how they spend their money.

This invasion of privacy can be uncomfortable and even dangerous, as it increases the risk of financial manipulation, theft, or fraud.

By appearing modest, one can enjoy greater privacy and security. Relatives and acquaintances are less likely to probe into financial matters, allowing the individual to live without unnecessary scrutiny.

In the end, financial success should bring peace of mind, not stress, and sometimes, maintaining a low profile is the best way to achieve that.

Mr. Abol Kings is a personal finance coach and a former banker