JAMILA’S MEMO: Learn to multitask

On my Memo tonight, multitasking should be a national prayer item. Sometime back, I heard a politician saying we must learn to chew gum and walk up the stairs at the same time, or down if you prefer. And how right was he. You see so many things go on in Kenya at the same time. In this country, you can confuse all the weather measuring equipment, mara it’s hot, mara it’s cold, mara there is peace, mara there is war, mara there are prophets, mara we are brothers, mara we are warriors and enemies. You see, these don’t work well with normal functioning body temperature. 37 degrees to zero is too much of a gap, but Yes, that is our country. That is why I am recommending the ability to multitask to be a civic duty of every citizen. Mostly because if you don’t multitask, you wouldn’t know when you are getting fixed.

You see, there is this frenzy of impeaching a top politician. We are all busy looking out for signatures, frantically asking, have they reached the requisite number? And also, what is the fight-back plan from the other side? We are in the middle of a national frenzy. Now, if you don’t multitask, this is how you get fixed.

There will be 21 small coffins in front of you, a heart-rending scene for any human being no doubt, but someone will pipe in something about that impeachment. Other than being insensitive to the families and relatives of the departed children, there was no more morbid illustration of how self-centered our politics can be. Yes, they will turn up at a funeral and get into an opinion poll race with the caskets. That is cruel and a must-win race for our politicians. Now as they treat you to the impeachment opera, remember the inability to multitask could deny you.

First, if you can chew gum and walk the stairs at the same time, you would probably not know that university lecturers have been on strike until not too long ago. You would not even know that coffee and tea farmers have been complaining and even demonstrating against unfavorable bonus terms. You would not know that a massive scandal is in the offing at the country’s largest airport, JKIA. You would not know that the university funding model remains unresolved. You would not know that counties have not received their funds. Do you know that starting October mshahara wako utakatwa tena, courtesy of the new health insurance fund? Just reminding you in case you may have forgotten that not-so-little fact. This is the same country where we are planning to spend Ksh.100 million on the quest for a national dress… priorities mtu wangu!

So in Kenya, multitasking should be considered a national survival skill and a must-have for every citizen. This, alongside the patience to watch politicians coldly talk over caskets of young victims of a fire tragedy. So, as you take your multitasking lessons, just a reminder of the main show on the big screen, impeachment, impeachment, impeachment.

And that is my Memo!