The social burden of infertility and adoption choice

In this 21st century, society is hell-bent on seeing couples get children after getting married. The decision by other couples not to sire children is still considered ‘unacceptable’. The society expects children. 

Additionally, the lack of children as a result of infertility leads to stereotyping and stigmatization of people involved.

Infertility is a disease of the male or female reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a pregnancy after 12 months of regular unprotected intercourse.

It is caused by blocked fallopian tubes, irregular ovulation, poor sperm quality or endometriosis-tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus among others.

Infertile people may never be invited to children events, disinherited, divorced for women and polygamy is a choice for the man. 

The Maragoli culture had a way of handling such cases when one died. 

"An infertile person was buried on the edge of the family land. A man who had never had intercourse due to erectile dysfunction had a thorn pierced in the butt; never to be named after, "says Mr Avodonye Usagi the chairperson of the Maragoli cultural elders.

*Mark*' and his wife had a challenge having children after marriage. After tests were run, it was discovered that the wife had blocked tubes. 

"She had an operation to have one unblocked. It was unsuccessful since it burst. We decided not to try again. Instead we opted for adoption,” says Mark (not his real name). 

"Through the legal process of adoption we got two girls who are now all grown,” he adds. 

He has had a chance to raise two beautiful girls who call him father even though there were undertones in the beginning. He insists that adoption is still a choice for couples struggling with infertility.

"There was a time someone approached me and said to me that he knows I don't have a child of my own but I bought the children I have. I ignored that since it was a choice we made with my wife.

Dr. Kamau Koigi is a gynecologist and an Endocrinologist at the Nairobi hospital.

He reckons that stigma is the perception that somebody is bad because of failure to perform to a level of an expected standard or norm making people want to avoid and ruthlessly punish those who are stigmatized because of their failure to conform to the society's expectations and this is known as ostracization. It results in social-economic dis-empowerement of the stigmatized.

Unfortunately women bear over 90% of the social burden of infertility. This ranges from exclusion from family gatherings, loss of friends, exclusion from baby showers and bridal showers or experience physical and verbal abuse.

"By the time women seek out specialized care for infertility care, family and friends will have pushed them to seek herbal treatment and spiritual treatment, which happens in over 90% of these cases. This wastes time, some take up to 70 years before seeking medical care becoming hard to treat the existing conditions. Yet most cultures do not accept adoption as an option for treatment of infertility when it becomes impossible to get a child," says Dr. Koigi. 

Koigi urges couples to have tests run on them and know what the cause of infertility is. Both men and women and can therefore pick a treatment.

Infertility treatments range from medication, surrogacy, sperm donation and Intravenous Fertilisation( IVF) among others.