Knowing when your teenager is mentally unwell and how to show support

During teenage years, teenagers are prone to experiencing mental health issues because they are getting to find their identity and are very curious to indulge in new experiences.

Most times, parents fail to detect the signs of mental health conditions in their teenagers or dismiss them, arguing that they were also once teenagers. 

We live in different times now, and the challenges parents might have experienced during their teenage years do not equate to the problems teenagers face in the 21st century.  

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), on a global scale, one in seven teenagers experience mental health conditions, most of which remain concealed and are hard to recognise. 

Citizen Digital spoke to Soony Wendy, a counsellor working with the Kenya Red Cross, to highlight mental health problems teenagers commonly face and outline the various ways parents or guardians can notice them early. 

Common mental health conditions among teenagers

Soony says that mental health conditions have a spectrum, mentioning that they fall under mild, moderate, and severe. She notes that severe ones may require medical intervention as compared to mild ones like anxiety.

“Mild mental health issues are the common stressors, while severe ones are mental health disorders like bipolar, depression, schizophrenia, Kleptomania, and addiction to substances and behaviors like masturbation,” she says. 

Other common mental health disorders among teenagers are Attention-deficit/hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), depression, and bipolar disorder, which is a result of mood oscillations.

Risk factors of mental health illnesses among teenagers 

Soony says that various risk factors could be the cause of your teenager battling mental health problems. 

She mentions that adverse childhood experiences are one of the most prevalent causes, adding that if they went through some experiences like separation of parents or violence in the family, they could manifest as mental health illnesses.

“For instance, if a child went through an extreme experience whereby at some point they lacked the basic needs, and they fortunately find themselves financially stable.” 

“If they normalized surviving from hand to mouth, their mind records that they need to fend for themselves even if they do not anymore, which could cause them to develop mental health conditions like Kleptomania,” Soony explains. 

Additionally, she says that social media influence is a dominant cause of mental health problems among teenagers today. 

She also cites exposure to drugs and substance abuse as the common risk factor, noting that some teenagers often begin indulging in them at the onset of their teenage years. 

The most common behavioural mental health conditions result from teenagers struggling to identify who they are because they have the desire to be adults but are still under their parents' care, Soony says.

According to Soony, emotional regulation problems also occur, which she attributes to brain development. 

Teenagers also yearn to uncover their sexual identity, which sparks a lot of curiosity to experiment, resulting in teenage pregnancies sometimes. 

Soony says that currently, there is a pandemic where teenagers indulge in self-harm behaviours like cutting and burning themselves, which could eventually end up in suicides. 

“A lot of mental health issues teenagers experience stem from genetic predisposition, whereby mental health disorders are transferred from generation to generation, which fuels a cycle,” 

“Hurt parents bleed on their children,” Soony says.  

Signs a parent can look out for 

Teenagers fail to approach their parents when battling mental health problems because they tend to view them as unapproachable. Soony states that teenagers rarely approach them because parents do not understand them or are not as involved.    

“When a child or teenager is going through mental health problems, the first place they look for information or help is the media or online. They also go to their peers, and if they fail to find help, they turn to a trusted adult, like a spiritual leader, a teacher, and eventually parents as their last resort,” she notes.

Additionally, Soony says that parents can look out for behavioural signs like isolation and withdrawal, whereby the teenager stays in their room for long periods to avoid interactions with people. 

Teenagers could start changing their fashion style, opting for rather baggy outfits could also be a mental health problem sign.

“Some teenagers wear baggy outfits to conceal self-inflicted cuts or burns,” she notes.

Soony adds that parents should be aware of what their teenagers post on social media to tell whether they may be battling some mental health problems, noting that sometimes they could be posting violent or pornographic content without their knowledge. 

According to Soony: “A parent may also notice unexplained physical ailments, like constant headaches, backaches, chest pains. Once they seek medication, the doctor can barely find any ailment.” 

“This could be a result of psychosomatic symptoms, which are physical manifestations of mental health issues. If a child is experiencing a lot of stress in school but they do not know how to deal with it, they might start feeling physically unwell.”

Soony explains that physical ailments are curable if the underlying psychological conditions are addressed and treated. 

Teenagers could indulge in cognitive behaviours like self-loathing when performing poorly at school.

How parents can show support to teenagers 

Soony advises parents to be intentional in their parenting and explore the available resources to learn effective parenting styles.

“Parents should work on their past traumas. If there is trauma that a parent might have experienced in their childhood, they should deal with them to avoid projecting them to their children,” she advises.

She further recommends that parents spend quality time with their teenagers, noting that nowadays, parents think they can substitute their absence with money or let the nanny raise the kids for them.

“Parents should put their busy schedules on hold occasionally and create a routine to spend time with their children. There is no way your teenager will open up to you if there is no connection between the both of you,” she says. 

Soony notes that parents do not bear this burden alone, stating that schools should introduce mental health programs. She recommends that schools provide a school counselor who has the expertise to handle cases of mental health problems among children.

“At the end of the day, the teenager not only spends time with their parents but also interacts with other people, especially in schools,” Soony says. 

The counsellor emphasizes that parents should take their teenagers for treatment after detecting a mental health problem.

“The same way a parent takes their children to the hospital whenever they have a physical ailment is the same way they should treat mental health issues,” Soony says.

Soony adds that if mental health disorders are detected earlier, there is always improvement in the symptoms, and they can be able to regain their mental health.

“Some of the mental health disorders are lifelong, so the teenager may need to take medication their whole life,” the counsellor notes.

 “Instead of parents reacting to their teenager’s mood swings, they should use the authoritative parenting style, whereby a democracy is involved, allowing the teenager to talk, and the parent listens to their issues."

She urges parents not to be quick to react to prevent worsening the situation, noting that the teenager’s act of rebelliousness could actually be a cry for help.