Adoption no longer an option for the 'childless' only; why baby girls are most preferred

Despite the prevalent stigma involved, child adoption is a viable option for parenthood, as more people prefer it over childbirth even though they are capable.

For a long time, the society has labelled as ' childless' women and men who are unable to get biological children due to fertility complications. The 'childless' might opt for expensive medical procedures, or simply choose the adoption method. 

But this is not always the only motivation for child adoption. 

Zoe Ngare, a mother of one, tells Citizen Digital that she awaited her little girl for four years due to the desire to experience motherhood and share love with her.

“I chose to adopt to change a life for both of us, to experience motherhood and allow my child to experience love beyond blood and have a mum. The bottom line is sharing love,” Ngare says. 

Rose Namunyak, who wishes to adopt, says that she would consider child adoption because she believes that every child deserves a family.

"I was diagnosed with Cysts a while back. I took it positively and resolved to consider adoption other than the possible hustle of assisted reproduction," reveals Namunyak.

Namunyak maintains that child adoption is taken up by many, adding that even if she will one day have biological kids, she will still adopt.

"It is okay for someone to take adoption as a last resort, but I am certain that there are people who have it as their first option who are sure that they do not want a biological child," says Namunyak. 

CHILD ADOPTION PROCESS

The adoption process commences at an adoption society, whereby the prospective adoptive parent converses with a social worker. 

Adoption has some requirements stipulated in the Children's Act.

According to Grace Ekambi, the CEO of Little Angels Network, an adoption agency compiles a report detailing the adoptive prospective parent’s information, including the medical report and financial and psychosocial state. 

Ekambi adds that they present the compiled report to a case committee that vets the application and decides whether to approve, defer, or reject it. 

“Someone may get deferred due to incomplete documents, and if one receives a rejection, it is mostly because of not meeting the laws stipulated in the Act,” says Ekambi.

She states that the adoption society then matches the prospective adoptive parent with children from Charitable Children Institutions (CCIs) who are ready for adoption, noting that not all children in an institution are free for adoption. 

“If the parent has not given consent for the child to be adopted, then they cannot be declared free for adoption,” Ekambi explains.

Ekambi says that the birth parent goes through counseling and psychosocial support six weeks after giving birth before signing the final consent.

According to Ekambi, the bonding process, which takes one to two weeks, comes next to facilitate the creation of rapport between the adoptive parent and the child.

“The placement process then begins whereby the child is under the care of the adoptive parent for three months,” Ekambi notes.

The adoption process then proceeds to the legal route.

THE LEGAL PROCESS OF ADOPTION

Pearlyne Omamo, a Managing Partner of Adra Advocates LLP and a family lawyer, takes us through the legal process of child adoption in Kenya. 

The advocate says that an application is filed in the High Court, adding that it can be anonymous to respect privacy. 

Afterward, the High Court issues an adoption order.  

 “Every adoption order made by the High Court shall then contain a directive to the Registrar General to make an entry in the adopted children register,” Omamo says.

Subsequently, the Registrar General issues the adoptive parent an adoption certificate within seven days. 

“The adoption certificate is now the tail end of the legal process,” Omamo says, further noting that the adoptive parent can lose custody of the child if found to be neglectful and abusive.

She says that child adoption is irrevocable once the adoptive parent gets the adoption order.

ADOPTION AS A VIABLE OPTION?

Ann Qtee, who desires to adopt, says that the parenthood option stems from her love for children as she likes visiting Children's Homes. 

“I just need to inform myself on the process of child adoption, then I will start making the arrangements to begin the process once I am ready,” she notes

Ekambi says that adoption is a parenthood option that is considered more by people, noting that some adopt for various reasons.

“Some people adopt because of a promise they made to themselves or God while others who are unmarried opt to adopt out of respect for their religion. We need to demystify the myth that only childless applicants come to adopt,” Ekambi says. 

The advocate says that people would be surprised at the statistics of child adoption in Kenya, noting that a lot of people choose that route. 

“I can attest that the High Court family division receives not less than 20 applications in a day,” Omamo reveals. 

Ekambi notes that people are getting more vocal and embracing the option of child adoption, dispelling the notion that it is considered a last resort.

Ekambi urges society to embrace child adoption and refrain from rejecting the parenthood option and relaying negative comments to the adoptive parent and the child.

The LANS CEO calls on adoptive parents to be more vocal with their adoption journey, noting that doing this will demystify the myths linked to adoption and encourage the people who are considering the parenthood avenue. 

CHALLENGES ADOPTIVE PARENTS FACE

Stigma is still a prevalent challenge in adoption. However, Ekambi notes that it has slightly improved.

She adds that some adoptive parents have to stay in the waiting period for a long time, some even three years. 

Ekambi notes that female children are not as many in CCIs as boys, intimating that adoptive parents tend to prefer girls than boys.  

“Adoptive parents prefer not to adopt boys due to inheritance and bloodline. Hence, we are encouraging applicants to forfeit that notion because the adopted children have the right to inheritance,” says Ekambi.

For Namunyak, who hopes to be an adoptive parent one day, a fear of whether her family will accept the adopted child is what she ponders.

“In anticipation, I worry about whether my family will treat my adopted child differently from other children in the family unit, who are related by blood. Will they consider me a ‘lesser mum’ for adopting a baby?” she poses.

Ngare says that despite the challenges that come with adoption, she has a strong support group that holds her hand through it all. 

“I will tell those who would like to adopt to go ahead and do it. Parenthood is the key here, and nurturing a child who never got a chance. Research all you can. Search your heart too before making this lifelong choice,” Ngare advises.

Ngare continues that adoption requires a lot of research, noting that everyone is green while beginning the process. 

Ngare points out that the adopted baby may need a lot of care because some of them may have been abandoned or orphaned.