A caregiver’s tale of supporting patients through sickness, final stages

Caregivers could easily be the invisible patients, quietly bearing the physical and emotional weight of their noble calling. 

While they may not endure surgeries or grapple with chemotherapy, their journey is fraught with its unique set of challenges that often go unnoticed. 

These are the individuals who devote their time, energy, and compassion to support patients on their journey through illness, recovery, and sometimes, more often the not, the final stages of life.

A reassuring touch, a comforting word. Seemingly small gestures for you and I, dear reader, that make a world of difference to patients going through uncertainties of their health.

For the unsung heroes like 27-year-old Maureen Ngare working at Avenue Hospital’s Homebased Care since 2021, caregiving is not just about a job or the typical allure of a paycheck, rather about making a difference in the lives of those ailing. 

“I saw that old people were suffering a lot, and so that piqued my interest in working as a caregiver. I enrolled in school and then went for training at Avenue Hospital,” says Maureen.

Having worked with about 50 patients over the past two years, each presenting unique health challenges, Maureen is no stranger to the complexities that come with the territory. 

“I have worked with about 50 patients all with various health conditions and every time I am assigned a patient, I always have a fear of the type of family I’m getting into,” she admits. 

Beyond medical challenges, Maureen also faces hurdles within the homes she enters. 

“Every time I am assigned a patient, I always have a fear of the type of family I’m getting into,” she shares.

According to Maureen, there have been instances when families are less supportive, leaving caregivers like her, to navigate their responsibilities alone.

“You could be assigned a home and find that the relatives are not mindful of the patient at all, and so it’s just you alone, dealing with the patient. Even if you ask them (relatives) to direct you to where a certain thing is, it’s either they refer you to the house help or tell you to look for it yourself. However hard you try to create a good rapport with them, that is how they are, and there is no changing it, and that just makes the work we do harder.”

The nurse continues to describe instances where convincing patients to adhere to their treatment plans can be an uphill battle, hindering their healing process.

“There are times when you have to face patients who do not want to go shower, take medication; so, it becomes harder, even when you attempt to crush the medication, they still will not take it, and that affects the healing process of the patient,” she says.

Despite these challenges, Maureen finds solace in success stories. 

She recounts a 95-year-old patient whom she cared for during a three-week hospital stay, whose recovery, she says, brought her immense joy.

 “There was a 95-year-old lady who lived in Nyeri. The only issue I had while dealing with her was language barrier as she would speak to me in Kikuyu and I am not as fluent,” she states.

“I stayed with her in the ward for 3 weeks, and it was just the other day when I bumped into her son who told me that she was faring well, and that she could well enough stand and sit on her own.”

Yet, not every narrative concludes with a patient walking out better than they came in. 

Sometimes and in very unfortunate cases, they take their last breath, the warmth seeping off their bodies, a reminder that a soul once inhibited the lifeless body.

Maureen opens up about the emotional toll of losing a patient, recounting a particularly challenging case.

“There was only one patient of mine who passed on. I nursed him for two months in the ward and it took a while for the hospital to know that he had cancer and start treatment. He was a very prayerful man and you would always find him with a rosary praying. However, his health started deteriorating and he was admitted into the ICU. A little while later, as I was making my rounds and passed by his room, I found that his belongings were not there anymore and upon asking, I was informed that he passed on,” recounts Maureen.

“I just went down the staircase because we are not allowed to be emotional around patients and I cried.”

The experience, she says, almost led her to reconsider her chosen profession.

“That death affected me for three months and I almost gave up with work. I began thinking what the point of nursing a patient was, and then have them die. I was affected because normally when you’re given a patient, you bond... I thank God that I was able to recover,” she says.

Despite the festive Christmas season beckoning for family reunions and celebrations, Maureen's duty-bound heart remains with her patients. 

This commitment means that she often, spends the holiday away from her own family. 

“In this line of work, I do wish to go and have fun with the family but my job needs me. I do not go home because at the back of my mind, I normally think that when I go home, my patient is going to suffer,” she asserted.

In Maureen's eyes, each patient is not just a responsibility but a member of her extended family.

“Take that patient as you would members of your family. If you have that mindset, the festivities around Christmas and the pressure that comes with it will cease bothering you,” notes the caregiver.

Ngare's message to fellow caregivers is clear: “Celebrations and festivities will always be there,” but for terminally ill patients, the love and care provided by caregivers can make a life-changing difference.

For her and many caregivers like her, the festivities may take a backseat but the gift of making the world a bit brighter takes precedence one patient at a time. It is the season of giving, after all!