19 years after her last sip, NACADA Vice Chair Ann Mathu shares alcoholism battle that began at age 10

Today, she is 19 years sober and at the realm of advocacy against alcoholism and substance abuse in the country. She was introduced to alcoholism by her father in the 1970s.

“Alcoholism runs in the country, and I am genetically predisposed. My father gave me alcohol when I was in primary school, he was an alcoholic, and I definitely got it from him,” she says. 

She admits that, although she is genetically predisposed, early exposure was one of the contributing factors to her addiction. By the time she was done with secondary school, she would consume about two glasses of beer without feeling drunk.

“My father died in a road accident while under the influence of alcohol, that was a big blow to me,” Mathu tells Citizen Digital. 

Soon after, she started modelling and enrolled in the Miss Kenya pageant, where she was crowned Miss Kenya first runner-up. According to her, the fame came with more and better quality alcohol.

She was posted to Moi Equator Girls in Eldoret, where she got her first baby. As a new, abandoned, and disappointed mother, she became a closet drinker and eventually fell out with the management due to her drinking.

“I was famous instantly, and I was making money. I was in a space where alcohol was available in social settings, and this exacerbated my drinking habits. I could not secure any job because alcoholism affected my performance at work severely,” she says. 

Alcoholic fits became part of her morning routine, she was hooked and could not survive without alcohol. All her friends were alcoholics, and this made the situation worse.

“You cannot cope with non-drinkers because they will criticise you, partly because you know you are addicted, you want to change, but you do not know how to change. So I ended up being friends with alcoholics like me,” she says. 

Looking back, she attributes her drinking to the losses and disappointments that have engulfed her life since she was a young girl. Eventually, she went back to Makongeni in Thika, where her brother, who was also an alcoholic, told her to make sure that the place she rented was near a bar.

“I was so weak and malnourished yet no one would dare get me out of the drinking den. Every time my family tried, I became violent and hurled insults at them, That is how we survived. By this time, I was taking second generation alcohol.”

‘In Thika, I met a doctor who was also an alcoholic, and we moved in with him, and we started living as a family, but none of us could be there for our children because of alcoholism. One day, he woke up in the morning vomiting blood and died on arrival at the hospital,” she adds.

According to her, the family blamed his death on her and she was not allowed to bury him.  ”I was not even allowed to view his body on the day he was laid to rest,” she recalled.

After his death, her mother intervened and took her three children under her care because her drinking had worsened and she had no capacity to take care of them. A friend living in Germany invited her to Germany in the hopes that a new environment would help her.

She had only transferred her alcoholism to another country, In Germany, a 75 year old man fell for her and they got married in Kenya with her family present.

“He saw a wife, and I saw money that would get me all the alcohol I could get. One thing that people need to understand is that addiction has no shame. He wanted to adopt my children, so he went back to Germany to work on the necessary papers but died before he could finalize everything,” she recalled.

His untimely death meant that she could not inherit anything from him, Mathu ended up selling her wedding dress and engagement ring to facilitate her drinking.

According to Mathu, her sobriety journey has taught her the power of support, acceptance, and making amends. Mathu, with the support of a friend, sought treatment in an addiction center and has had 19 years of uninterrupted sobriety.

“I had immense support during my battle to recover something I do not take for granted. Support and understanding, not shame, are paramount when it comes to recovery,” she says.

According to her, the first step to recovery is acceptance and asking for help.