Miscarriages: The silent monster eating women and shattering families

Somewhere in Kirinyaga town, about a ten-minute drive from the central business district, we are ushered into a modest one-bedroom brick apartment. Its occupant-a middle-aged woman, probably in her forties, light-skinned and soft-spoken - welcomes us quietly. Her calm demeanour belies the immense battles she has fought.

In her arms rests a nine-month-old baby girl, enjoying the warmth and comfort of her mother. For most families, a baby is pure joy and pride. Here, however, this child embodies years of scars, pain, frustration, and hard-won triumph. The Nyagas’ journey has been long and punishing - 18 rugged years, long enough for a toddler to grow into an adult, and sit his/ her high school exams.

For 11 years, Muthoni Nyaga battled a hormonal imbalance that caused chronic bleeding. Every attempt at conception ended the same way: miscarriage. Neighbours mocked her inability to bear children.

“She might go looking for children elsewhere,” she often overheard them whisper. Such cruel remarks drove her into deep bouts of depression.

Yet she clung to faith, making attempt after attempt, praying that a miracle would happen. Agonisingly, pregnancies would come and go. On one routine hospital visit, Muthoni and her husband, Salesio Nyaga, received the most bittersweet news: “Your wife is pregnant, but she has lost the pregnancy.”

The words ripped through them. It was the culmination of countless visits to hospitals and clinics in desperate search of a child, only for each effort to end in familiar outcome:  pain of miscarriage. “I have been washing blood for the past 15 years,” Salesio recalls quietly, referring to the repeated miscarriages. At this point he avoids eye contact - the long battle has clearly taken its toll - but he remains strong in spirit, standing shoulder to shoulder with his wife.

A turning point

In 2024, everything changed. A visit to a nearby hospital confirmed that Muthoni was two months pregnant. Determined to protect the pregnancy, they sought alternative treatments. Their doctor recommended a cervical cerclage -  a surgical stitch used to keep the cervix closed and prevent miscarriage.

“We were exhausted from the constant losses, but we decided to try one last time,” Salesio says, his voice thick with emotion, painting their past battles in detail, as if they had just happened yesterday.

On October 17, Muthoni delivered their baby girl via caesarean section. After years of anguish and heartbreak, the Nyagas were finally parents.

The joy was unmistakable and contagious, especially among the wider family-  her mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and close relatives, all of whom celebrated the long-awaited arrival.

Muthoni and Salesio are not alone in their ordeal. Other families share similar stories. Mercy Aphia, a gospel artist from Komarock in Nairobi, suffered seven miscarriages before becoming the proud mother of three boys. Her struggle was compounded by financial hardship: with her husband working as a church keyboardist, even basic needs were often a luxury, and medical care seemed out of reach.

Their double burden was not only the physical and emotional toll of repeated loss but also the lack of resources to seek consistent medical attention.

Dr. Frederick Kireki Omanwa, President of the Kenya Obstetrical and Gynaecological Society (KOGS), explains that miscarriage - defined as the loss of a foetus before 28 weeks - can occur when the foetus fails to develop as expected. He cites several common causes:

i]Fibroids: These can obstruct the uterus, preventing the baby from growing properly and leading to miscarriage.

ii]Chromosomal abnormalities: The most common cause of early miscarriage, these occur when there are problems in how the baby’s cells divide, often resulting in a non-viable pregnancy. Such abnormalities are typically random and not inherited.

iii]Hormonal imbalances: Low levels of progesterone, essential for maintaining early pregnancy, can lead to miscarriage.

iv] Structural problems in the uterus: An irregularly shaped or divided uterus can interfere with pregnancy.

v] High blood pressure and high blood sugar: Elevated levels can make it difficult for the baby to regulate its own blood sugar, increasing the risk of miscarriage.

Dr. Kireki also warns that certain medications are unsafe during pregnancy and stresses the importance of hospital visits for proper care. Women who have experienced multiple miscarriages may have a higher risk of another, although the cause can differ each time.

Treatment, he emphasizes, must be tailored to the underlying cause. For example, high blood sugar must be controlled to minimize risk. In some cases, a cervical cerclage - like the one that helped Muthoni - can prevent early miscarriage and allow a pregnancy to reach full term.

Psychologist Isaac Maweu explains that miscarriage can cause immense stress and often leads to depression. He advises couples to seek mental-health support and urges men to stand firmly by their partners.

Key recommendations include:

·         Recognize that miscarriage is a traumatic loss requiring both emotional and medical care.

·         Ignore mockery and societal pressure; focus on healing together.

·         Seek professional mental-health assistance to prevent further harm.