How to get over a break up
Relationship experts often talk about how to get over a break up because it is tied to self esteem.
The Independent quotes a study that says getting over a heart break can be even harder if there is still love shared.
“…heartbreak is a grieving process – and it looks completely different for everyone.
“Because love is a messy emotion, and each relationship comes with its own memories and feelings, the end of any relationship will be a unique experience,” the report reads.
According to The Journal of Positive Psychology, people who suffer an emotional heartbreak can take almost three months weeks to start feeling ‘normal’ again.
Other studies say it can take even up to 1 and a half years.
- Solo Travels
The CNN series Solo Travels follows individuals who have ended relationships and decided to go on a trip as a break from the emotional turmoil.
One of them, 25-year-old Elizabeth, said: “I felt like I was living the life of a dog where I was always catering to someone else’s needs.”
She added: “Traveling reminded me that it is OK do what I want,” Mecklenburg said. “It reminded me that it’s OK to break away from the norm of what society expects of us. It reminded me that it’s OK to do what my heart wants.”
Winch Guy, a psychologist, tells the Independent of other ways to try and get over a relationship. They include:
- Don’t check up on your ex-partner on social media
Doing this brings back memories you had together causing more harm than good to your psyche.
- List of all the mistakes made
Think of the mistakes that you both made during the relationship. This will keep you objective and also help avoid a repetition if you ever decide to date someone else.
- Delete everything in your phone that makes you remember your ex-partner
This includes photos or videos you took together and text messages you exchanged.
- Do more of what makes you happy
Aside from traveling or trying out a new hobby like joining a gym, dance, writing or cooking class, you can also reach out to friends who keep you positive and focus on the future.
Loren Soeiro, another psychologist adds:
- Refresh your living space
Try to change some things in your house or wardrobe. Get new or second hand items that can enliven your experience at home.
- Stay healthy
Instead of always reaching out for comfort food, try eating healthy as it rejuvenates both mind and body. Get enough sleep and exercise more regularly even if its just taking regular walks as you enjoy the scenery
- Open up yourself up to new experiences
It can be anything from taking yourself out for a movie or lunch; talking to new people at events or starting a new project like a blog.
“New experiences can alter your perspective on life and help you put psychological distance between yourself and the breakup. Eventually you should see the world differently — and begin to feel like yourself again,” Soeiro says.